Simple Rules
by brooke-ella1990
Summary: 2nd gen Ron Weasley has gained a temporary position as a prof. at Hogwarts. he is ..lovably.. clueless ..like always.. and hilarity shall ensue. gained an idea from watching 8 Simple Rules ... this will be different... enjoy & review.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't Own, the idea or the characters, just possibly the plot

My father spent most of his teenage years clueless about girls. Well ok, he sort of figured it out when he started dating my mum, then eventually marrying her. But nope this same man was so very clueless about girls during his teenage years. Sadly this hasn't gone away and he is just as hopeless as ever. But this time he's raising a teenage girl. And he's still clueless. Clueless enough that if he bought a shoe store he could probably fit the whole place in his mouth in a matter of seconds. And if he was in a board game, he'd go backwards, instead of forwards.

Of course mum and I have our jokes about him. He turns beet red at the mention and he pretends that we are lying about him and then leaves the room in a hurry. This man who has embarrassed me from the get-go as soon I was old enough to be embarrassed. There he was.

This man has been hired as the new charms professor at my school! Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Holy shitake mushrooms! WHY? WHY? WHY?

**Author's Notes: **

**-this is a trial prologue, depending on reviews & hits**

**-bet you can guess who i'm talking about, the clueless father, and the daughter (if you cant figure it out, you are tragic and sad , jp jk )  
**

**- figuring this will be like the show 8 simple rules (without the tragic death of the father though. **

**-will not interfere w/ test run & Mistakes Worth Making **

**-review with your honest thoughts :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1 **

I sometimes wish I had been adopted, because then that would mean not sharing a gene pool with the ridiculous man I call my father.

Ok, so as far as dads go; I mean mum could have done much worse, I mean he doesn't beat her or us. He doesn't drink excessively and he doesn't gamble. Dad's only serious crime is cluelessness or stupidity.

Yes, my father is Ronald Weasley and of course my mum is Hermione Granger, good job you read your history books and you know that Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger formed the famous Golden Trio at Hogwarts when they attended twenty three years ago.

My favorite story as a child was them telling me about how they met and fell in love. Here, I have some time so I will tell you as I remember it, (and this happened almost everytime they told me if they told it together

**Dad:** We met on the Hogwarts Express

**Mum:** I was helping Neville Longbottom look for his toad

**Me:** Wait, Professor Longbottom?!

**Both:** Yes, he was a friend of ours

**Me:** Cool! (Teddy Lupin told me about him)

**Mum**: Your dad had a bit of dirt on his nose.

**Dad:** _-blushing_- did not!

**Mum:** Did too! Now let me tell the story, Ronald. It was so not love at first sight; I thought he was an annoying, immature prat.

**Dad:** Well, I was. Your mum, I thought she was bossy, domineering, a know it all and a tattle-tale.

**Me**: Well, she's still bossy

**Mum**: _-offended- _I'm not, am I?

_-Dad and I exchange a look- _

**Both:**_-sarcastically- _NOOOO

**Mum:**_-frowning- _The mountain troll you and Harry saved me from, that was the start of our friendship. When we were almost always in an argument of some sort. Like 3rd year, with Scabbers and Crookshanks.

**Me:** Crookshanks 'supposedly' ate Scabbers?

**Mum:**_-continuing on in the same vein, ignoring my comment-_ and in fourth year, when Viktor Krum took me to the Yule Ball. Or the Slug Club 6th year, and Lavender Brown _-at her name, she starts scowling.-_ And the horcruxes, and other arguments we'll tell you about when your older, because now it's time for bed.

_-as an afterthought. dad would say:- _

**Dad:** Oh yeah, then we got married.

_-mum thinks for a second then adds- _

**Mum: **Oh, we thought of eloping, but grammy would have killed us.

_-kiss on cheek from each parent-  
_

**Both: **_-chorusing- _Goodnight Rosie

_-mum flicks lights off, closes door as she exits-_

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At my sixteenth birthday party, my "sweet sixteen" as mum kept calling it. I first realized how embarrassing he truly was. Well, sixteen is a bit old, but it was the first time I really felt humiliated by my father. He sang "Happy Birthday" too loudly. He flipped out when James' friend from school, Bobby Thomas kissed me on my cheek when he left.

"Hermione! Did you just see that! He molested my little girl!"

"Chill out, daddy, it was just a kiss and not even a good one."

"What?!" he yelped.

"Ron, you are overreacting" mum said, but to no avail. He was beginning to turn red. He turned red in stages. Now he was a light pink.

"Yo! Ronniekins!" George had bounced over "What's happening with your face." He added in an amused way.

"Oh, he's wigging out cos Bobby Thomas kissed me."

"Really? Where?" Aunt Ginny asked, she had come over in interest, because of dad's now almost magenta face.

"On the cheek." I replied casually, because at the time Bobby and I were boyfriend/girlfriend but daddy definitely didn't know.

Neville had meandered over. (It was always odd to have one of your professors at your birthday party, even if he was a family friend.) By now, most of the party was watching daddy grow progressively redder and redder.

"It that who I found you making out with by the greenhouse?" I knew Neville was in earnest and hadn't meant to ask that. But I was still a bit mad, anyway.

"NEVILLE!" Mum screeched in surprise.

"Oh my god!" Aunt Ginny declares. Oh my god is right. One look at my father warrants an; oh my god. Or possibly an; _oh my fucking god – I'm in trouble_.

"Oh no!" Uncle Harry has finally piped in.

"Rose, I'm sorry." Neville mouths to me as dad pulls me away from the center of the semi-circle group of partygoers.

"MAKING OUT IN THE GREENHOUSE!!!!!" Dad bellows. "WITH WHO???"

"Ok, it wasn't IN the greenhouse, it was NEAR it!!" I correct uselessly, that sooo did not help my case.

"WITH WHO!?!?!?!?!"

"Scorpius Malfoy." I say, after a moment's contemplation. Because, honestly? Honesty is the best policy, and if I lied, Lily would have accidentally blurted it out, I love her to death, but she cannot lie. (The worst liar everrr). And daddy would have bribed Lily into telling him.

The partygoers, who have been eagerly eavesdropping, collectively gasp.

"Whoa." Aunt Ginny says, the only non-gasp.

"Rose! You're grounded!"

"What? That is SO UNFAIR!" I shout.

"Ron, Rosie, we'll all talk after the party." Mum says leading dad away.

"Ok." I huff angrily. Mum will reason with him. I tucked a strand of my auburn hair behind my ear and walked over to my cousins and my brother Hugo. They were playing a two on three Quidditch game girls vs. boys.

I grabbed a broomstick from the wooden cabinet.

"Care to make it a 3 on 3?" I asked hopping on my broomstick and zooming up to meet Lily and Adèle. (Aunt Fleur's half sister – so that technically makes her not my cousin, or something, but whatever)

"Chyeah!" Lily yells enthusiastically.

We beat the boys four out of five games.

That's a beautiful thing.

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And now he's my charms professor? Agh, good thing I'm a 7th year, only one year. Or else it would have been patricide, most likely.

* * *

Author's Notes: 

-blahhhh tired. wow i just realized that's kind of a crappy bedtime story, but whatever i like it the way it is. so if you have objections, get over it, that part is fairly short-ish.

-Um, yeah, don't own. It's on my Christmas list, though. :P

-So, the year is 2022, when she turns 16. And I'm trying to decide if she should be looking back and remembering the year, or actually living through it. Tell me if you have a preference or something.

-the brackets wouldnt work. [the end bracket would fall off, looking like this. don't know why. i used hyphens/ dashes ( - ) for the purpose of that it looks different because i think i use parentheses frequently in the chapter. (possibly) _  
_

-Also, tell me anything that you would like to see (excluding slash/incest/male pregnancy), and if it coordinates with my plans for this ficcy, then I will try and work it in. :P

-See the purple button? Yep, yeah, the violet colored button. Put it to good use and review! Please?


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